More Validation, Less Reappraisal: Effectiveness of Everyday Interpersonal Emotion Regulation Strategies

Background: Social functioning and mental health rely not only on regulating one’s ownemotions but also on the ability to influence the emotions of others. However, most research hasfocused on intrinsic, self-focused emotion regulation, leaving a gap in our understanding of theeffectiveness of extrinsic, other-focused interpersonal strategies in everyday life.Methods: In two ecological momentary assessment (EMA) studies conducted in Germany (N =131; 2,016 assessments) and the United States (N = 219; 4,303 assessments), we examined theeffectiveness of 15 interpersonal emotion regulation strategies in real-world social interactions.After each interaction, participants reported which strategies they used, rated their effectivenessin influencing the other person’s emotions, and provided information on emotional valence,relationship closeness, and their own depression and anxiety symptoms.Results: Notably, strategies often effective for self-regulation, such as reappraisal and problemsolving, were inconsistently effective when used to regulate others’ emotions. Instead, response-modulation strategies like validation and soothing were perceived as most effective. Strategyuse and success varied by emotional valence, relational closeness, and the regulator’s symptomlevels. Participants with higher depression or anxiety symptoms reported using interpersonalstrategies less frequently and with lower perceived effectiveness.Limitations: All data were based on EMA reports from the regulator’s perspective.Conclusions: These results suggest that extrinsic interpersonal emotion regulation involvesdistinct processes, favoring strategies that foster connection and empathy over cognitive orproblem‐focused approaches. Future work should investigate whether training individuals inthese strategies can enhance everyday communication, deepen interpersonal bonds, and informclinical interventions for affective disorders.