Towards a New Theory of Couple Functioning

Love thrives where semantics begins. The purpose of this article is to share with the academic and professional community a new research grounded theory, termed Love and Rejection Messages Theory (LRMT), with the purpose to help couple interventions understanding and practice. It is rooted in over 12 years of therapeutic work with more than 300 heterosexual couples—either married or cohabiting—on the verge of divorce or having really deteriorated relationships. It was developed in the context in which there is no theoretical and practical paradigm to work exclusively on couple romantic love itself. Initially, it was a personal method, with new concepts, which in time developed evaluative measures, exercises, and tried to permanently improve by testing reality, help practice and serve the sole purpose of rekindling romantic love. LRMT examines how messages of love and rejection—embedded in everyday interactions—shape the emotional climate of romantic relationships. The theory offers both an explanatory framework and a foundation for a practical toolkit designed to assess relationship dynamics and guide psychotherapeutically and educational interventions aimed at rekindling romantic love. LRMT encourages professionals and couples alike to look beyond surface behaviors and into the deeper semantics that can either erode or rejuvenate love.