"It's a balancing act": Autistic fathers navigating parenting in everyday life

BackgroundAutistic parents are increasingly recognized as an important source of insight into Autistic adulthood and family life, yet the perspectives of Autistic people who identify as fathers remain almost entirely absent from research. Fathers have distinct experiences, and the absence of their stories and perspectives limits understanding of Autistic parenting more broadly. This study addressed this gap by exploring how Autistic fathers understand and experience parenting across the lifespan.MethodsWe co-produced the study with four Autistic fathers who contributed to design, interview development, and analysis. Nineteen Autistic fathers took part in semi-structured interviews, either spoken or written, depending on their preference. We analyzed the data using reflexive thematic analysis informed by constructionist and participatory research principles.ResultsOur analysis generated five themes: (1) Finding joy and meaning in everyday moments, which captured the emotional rewards of fatherhood; (2) Becoming myself through fatherhood, describing how parenting strengthened self-understanding and Autistic identity; (3) Walking the tightrope of family life, reflecting the effort of balancing sensory, emotional, and practical demands; (4) Parenting as relational work, showing how fathers negotiated understanding and communication within family relationships and the tension that arose when they felt misunderstood; and (5) Parenting in systems stacked against us, highlighting the barriers encountered in services and wider society.ConclusionAutistic fathers’ accounts deepen understanding of Autistic adulthood and family life. Their experiences show that fatherhood can strengthen identity and connection while exposing the limits of systems that rarely recognize Autistic needs. These fathers’ insights call for change in how research, policy, and services engage with Autistic people and their families.