Barriers to Direct Affirmative Sexual Consent: Gender Concerns and Peer and Partner Expectations

Though most young adults acknowledge the importance of consent, most also report a discomfort with verbally and explicitly asking for sexual consent from a partner. This research examined the reasons young adults–both heterosexual and gay–hesitate to ask a new partner for sexual consent. We predicted that potentially overestimated concerns about peer reactions, particularly about masculinity, would drive at least some hesitation. In Study 1 (N = 337, 83 gay men, 78 lesbian women, 87 heterosexual men, 89 heterosexual women), young adults responded to an exhaustive list of reasons for discomfort with asking for sexual consent. Respondents endorsed beliefs that asking for consent ruins the flow of sex, is counter to peer and partner expectations, and–for men–violates masculine gender roles and sexual scripts. Study 2 examined whether people’s assumptions about peer norms were accurate. Heterosexual and gay young adults (N = 259, 67 gay men, 61 lesbian women, 65 heterosexual men, 66 heterosexual women) believed their peers are less likely to ask for sexual consent than they are and predicted that their peers and prospective partners hold more negative attitudes about consent than they hold themselves. Men–both heterosexual and gay–predicted their same-sex peers believe asking for consent is less masculine than they believe it is, suggesting concerns about masculinity may be a particular consent barrier for men. Together, this research suggests that gender roles, sexual scripts, and misperceptions of peer norms deter sexual consent behavior among young adults.