With or Without You? People Feel Less Autonomous During Social Interactions, Except with Close Others

Social interaction bolsters well-being and relatedness. However, less is known about costs of social interaction, such as loss of autonomy. Here, we test a potential autonomy–relatedness tradeoff. College student participants completed experience sampling method self-reports (N = 352, 10,046 observations) of their social interactions, feelings of social connectedness, autonomy, and positive affect in the past hour. Participants reported lower autonomy when socially interacting compared with being alone. This was especially true for people with higher levels of attachment avoidance. Crucially, interaction partner matters: Compared with being alone, people report lower autonomy when interacting with non-close others, similar levels of autonomy when interacting friends and family, and higher autonomy when interacting with romantic partners. These findings provide ecologically valid evidence for an autonomy–relatedness tradeoff during social interactions with non-close others, but show that interactions with romantic partners uniquely fulfill both autonomy and relatedness needs.