Relationships as Microcultures Theory

Just as groups of people form societal macro-cultures, close relationship partners construct their own microculture. Dyads invent their own language (the word “muddles” for homemade ceramics), stories (the mango juice incident), rituals (nightly backgammon), morality (all dance offers must be accepted), identity (being unabashed goofballs), and sense of reality (belief in UFOs). We contend that the emergence, development, and maintenance of this co-created microculture is fundamental to what it means to be in an intimate relationship. We introduce Relationship as Microcultures Theory (RAM Theory), which complements prevailing relationship theories focused on higher-order processes, such as attachment and responsiveness, by foregrounding the idiosyncratic content of partners’ interactions. In our Microcultural Unit Model, we describe a meta-theory for understanding how particular dyadic interactions become microcultural units (e.g., inside jokes) by acquiring mutual, idiosyncratic, and referential meaning. In our Aggregate Microculture Model, we advance a theory of how microcultures, considered as systems of such units, shape both relational outcomes (e.g., relationship satisfaction and longevity) and personal outcomes (e.g., meaning in life and self-regulatory success). Specifically, we hypothesize that more extensive microcultures—those comprising more units, used more frequently, and spanning more life domains—produce stronger outcomes, particularly when microcultures are more intense: jointly created and understood by both partners, distinctive from the broader macro-culture, and rich in layered meaning. Conceptualizing relationships as microcultures opens an entirely new set of research questions, offering a novel approach to relationship science.