Shifting Signals: Fluctuations in Perceived Partner Responsiveness Predict Ambivalence in Romantic Relationships

Subjective ambivalence, or the experience of mixed and conflicting feelings, is a common and consequential aspect of romantic relationships. However, little is known about when and why such feelings emerge. The present work examines how fluctuations in Perceived Partner Responsiveness (PPR)—the feeling that one’s partner understands, validates, and cares for them—predict experiences of ambivalence in relationships. Across five studies involving individuals and couples in romantic relationships (total N = 1,598), we utilized daily diary and longitudinal methods to examine two key questions: (1) Do daily, weekly, or monthly fluctuations in PPR predict (changes in) relationship ambivalence; (2) Do (changes in) ambivalence serve as a mechanism linking fluctuations in PPR to both relational (relationship satisfaction) and personal well-being outcomes (life satisfaction, physical health, and depression). Our findings revealed that greater fluctuations in PPR predicted increased feelings of subjective ambivalence, even after accounting for average levels of PPR. Ambivalence partially mediated the relationship between PPR fluctuations and negative well-being outcomes, including declines in relationship and life satisfaction, poorer physical health, and increased depression over time. While prior research has emphasized the benefits of feeling understood and cared for, our results highlight that instability in responsiveness—being responsive at times and unresponsive at others—carries unique and significant personal and relational costs. By uncovering the nonlinear dynamics of partner responsiveness, this research offers new insights into how ambivalence arises in romantic relationships and underscores the implications of the varying and conflicting nature of relationships.