‘How You Apologize is Just Who You Are’—An Investigation of Apology Components and Self-Construals in Intercultural Romantic Relationships

Apologies are central to maintaining harmony in romantic relationships, yet expectations for how apologies should be expressed may differ across cultural contexts. While prior research has examined broad cultural differences in communication styles, less is known about how underlying self-construals—independent, relational, and collective—shape preferences for apology strategies in intercultural romantic relationships. To address this gap, survey data were collected from 311 participants currently in intercultural romantic relationships. The study assessed how self-construal orientations influence preferred forms of apology. Analyses showed that individuals with independent self-construals tend to favor apologies that include offers of compensation, those with relational self-construals place higher value on apologies that convey empathy, and those with collective self-construals emphasize acknowledgment of violated social or relational norms. These findings suggest that self-construal provides an important psychological lens through which individuals interpret and evaluate apologies. Effective apologies are not uniform but are instead shaped by culturally informed understandings of the self and relationships. Recognizing these differences is crucial for enhancing conflict resolution and fostering emotional connection in intercultural partnerships. The results highlight the broader implication that communication strategies in close relationships benefit from cultural and psychological sensitivity. By tailoring apologies to align with a partner’s self-construal, individuals may strengthen relationship resilience and satisfaction.