Sons win, daughters fit in: Parental preferences for outcomes in offspring competition

Parental investment is a foundational concept in evolutionary psychology used to explain mating strategies and reproductive behavior (Del Giudice, Gangestad, & Kaplan, 2015; Del Giudice, 2009; Trivers, 1972). However, less is known about how competitive strategies persist into parenthood. This study examined how parent sex, child sex, and child performance (outperform, equal, underperform) in different life domains influence parents’ emotional responses and their expectations of others’ reactions. Parents were recruited through college student referrals, social media advertisements, and in-person outreach at local sporting events. They responded to vignettes where their child competed in a valued domain (e.g., academics, sports, friendships, church, or music). Results showed that parents were happiest when their child performed equally to a peer, especially for daughters. Mothers, in particular, preferred daughters’ performance to match rather than exceed peers and anticipated emotional responses such as jealousy and hurt from other parents when their daughters performed better than other children. Fathers, by contrast, showed minimal emotional differentiation across child sex or performance condition, extending and replicating Benenson & Schinazi’s (2004) work. Parents were more emotionally responsive in domains tied to reputation and peer inclusion, such as academics and church involvement. These findings suggest parenting, like mating, may function as a competitive arena where child performance reflects not only individual achievement but also social positioning and long-term reproductive success. Public Significance Statement: This study reveals that parenting is not just about nurturing; it can also be shaped by competition and social awareness. Parents, especially mothers, are sensitive to how their child’s success may be perceived by others, particularly when daughters stand out among peers. These findings suggest that emotional reactions to child achievement are influenced by gendered expectations and reputational concerns, extending theories of competition and cooperation into the domain of parenthood.